FaLLen AnGeL Kk

2010-05-26T13:07:00.000-07:00

i told myself not to get too affected by u, not to contact u, not to care about u, not to think about u..

all of these are hard to accomplish, but it is working.. little by little, im able to forget about you.

pls cont to treat me as a stranger to make it easier for me.

hai..

i said all of these, but y am i hurting inside?? hai..fuck.

2010-05-18T10:26:00.000-07:00

hi blog, im emo again today..

hai, y do i like some1 so easily de.. its like im desperate or smth. i hate it.

today made me realised that i did not change at all over this years, im still the same old kelvinson from back then. the same old boring me.

to like some1 whom u know u cant be together with is so sian!!!!

im jus a boring, no money and emo guy. this is so pathetic.

to the person : pls do not be too nice to me.. it would jus make me like u more.

life was so simple till i met u again, but i nvr regret meeting u again.

just read from my prev post dated 3 yrs ago ( i loved u once... so y cant i love u once mre? ) haha... now it shud be (i loved u twice.. n twice failed, y the 3rd time? can i love u again?)

2010-05-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...... WTF AM I DOING?!?!

AM I FEELING JEALOUS?! WTF ISIT FOR.

zzzzz...regret what i did this afternoon.. nearly lost control of myself. fucks

dam.. i must learn to control.. must nt fall into it again. sigh..

must endure.. it is not meant to be.. think properly first.. think think think.

damn..the cycle is starting to repeat itself again.. omg..

2010-05-10T09:25:00.001-07:00

hai.. y is this happening???

y am i feeling guilty of what i sad???

y r u able to affect my feelings and moods again??

y r u able to take over my heart again with so little effort after such a long time?

y am i at this state despite trying to avoid it all this time?

y do i like u when i know i cant and u would leave me again??

y y y y y y y????

the ans is.. i haven learnt to let u go.. damn.

2010-03-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

it has been more than 2 years...
my heart still race when i think of you,
my mind only think about you,
i still cant take my eyes off you,
but i still cant say 'i love you'..

i dun knw whether to be sad or happy when you say that you would want to help me to confess to the girl i love..

im happy because u r concerned about me and wanted to help me

im sad because you are unable to help me..

the reason is because that girl whom i love is you and i already know your ans..

2009-10-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

hai.. somehw im feeling emo again.. its been a long week and its only wednesday!!! dam tiring. sian.

heard tat u r gonna be goin to another place soon and i cant see u so often anymore..hai. its gonna be so boring w/o u there. (=_=) no motivation anymore.

u said that u would wan to laugh softer or try not to laugh becuz of xing xiang but i feel tat the best music in the world is ur laughter and tat is the kind of person tat u r.so no nid to hide it.

i wish i could help to take away the pain and trouble u r feeling, i feel so helpless and it hurts me when i see u getting troubled and im unable to help.

its so hard to treat u only as a fren when i knw my feelings for u is much more than that.. there are so many times when i wan to tell u hw i feel but i cant, cuz i alrdy knw wad u are gonna say. hai

i wonder hw long is this gonna carry on.. maybe JUST MAYBE, one day i would have the courage to risk it all and tell u hw i feel. but right now, wad i cud do is to do my best to make u happy and tat is wad i wana do. seeing u smile and be happy is worth every effort i make.

2009-08-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

recieved the best bdae present today. haha

i haf found the drm ger tat u mentioned.. shes you.. lol

2009-06-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

one day.. someone asked me, how do u knw if u like tat person? to me, if u like tat person, u wud miss her everyday, would be happy that she sms u even if its just like a gd nite msg, would want to share all the gd tings with her, to be there for her whenever she needs help, would be happy to see her happy more than anything else etc etc.. there are so many things i could say.. but most imptly is that special place she have in ur heart where no1 could replace it.

maybe u knw tat i like u, is tat y u have been trying to push me to like another girl? do u knw tat tis is making me feel worse? even if u don't have feelings for me but u don't need to use this method. u don't have to always tell me how she and i are compatible to be tgt just becuz we r gd frens or becuz we are hao ren. i tink tat is not true for me. if u tink im the hao ren den y don't u like me? it just makes me feel like wad u say is not true. yes, she is a nice person but she is not u, she is not the person that i like. altho u say she is like u but shes not the same to me.

hai, i knw i will nvr be tat special someone in ur heart cuz i don't have the qualifications that u r looking for and i think u deserve better, sometimes i tink its time to give up and i have tried.. but i cant do it. rite now, the only thing i wana do is just to make u happy.

heard that there are 7 people in the world tat are alike.. wonder is that true..but don't think it would matter becuz to me, u r unique in everyway

hai..wad could i do to forget abt this..

2008-09-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

hmm, feeling abit emo so shall update again. haha. tink this blog is oni for me to rant so i can feel better. haha >< F1 duty is jus 2 days away!!!! yay!! haha,am excited and glad that im finally able to go, but am scared at the same time. cux my uni is still not ready yet!! omg.. hope tml will b able to buy the items needed.. if nt i wud nt be able to go to the event liao. sadded. jus cut my hair,find tat the hair style is not bad myself.. but some ppl say it looks weird. lol. bt who cares as long as i like it. haha.

finally im starting work nxt wk alrdy, have been looking forward to my 1st job. but am feeling quite nervous abt it.. haha.abit dun feel like going alrdy.. =.= bt if i dun go, i will have no money!!! lol

when i din see u, i will think of u..i will miss u. tot of calling u bt duno wad to talk abt..

bt wen we meet, we wil haf lots of things to talk and laugh abt.

am i tat bad in acting? tat u knw hw i feel? cux almst everytime we meet u wud say tat we r jus frens, n i cud do n say nth but smile..
hai.. i wonder did u always say tat jus to remind me tat we r frens n nth else.

adapted from grace kelly by MIKA
I could be brown,
I could be blue,
I could be vi-o-let sky!
I could be hurtful,
I could be purple,
I could be anything you like!

bt I jus cant b older den wad i am nw..haizz

i dunwana b ur xiao di..

有些人一生注定只能作朋友,但是我希望...

2008-08-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

happy belated national day!! haha. ytd was a fun day! cuz made some new frens and had dinner wif them over my house.lol. well actually they are my bro's frens. haha, aft tat played majong. heng did nt play real money, cuz i lost quite alot. even tho we did nt finish the whole game. =.=

today is dam tiring.the lectures are SO BORING!!! the halls are humid n hot n the trainer's voice are in monotone.. so slp inducing. bt the main fact wud b due to nt enuf slp secondary to gaming ba. hahaha. =p bt heng gt bev to sms, thus saving me frm falling aslp. lol. overall the training is ok la, jus draggy bt practical is interesting.

aft the training, went to suntec to see WCG, today is the last day of tat event. hai.actually i wana join the event de, bt i 4gt. oh wells,nxt yr den join.haha. there were lots of super nice looking cars. played guitar hero for the 1st time n its nt bad. walked away wif 1 goodie bag lol.

zzzz.. feel like slping alrdy.. n its oni 12am nw.. still so early. haha.. bt nt bad.. can drm of u. i hope. ><

2008-08-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

have been dreaming of u almost everyday, mayb tats cuz u r the last person tat i always think of b4 i slp.. bt its hard nt to tink of u. and its becuz of u tat i would nt wana wake up from the drm, i wud always hope tat morning would nvr come so tat i can be wif u longer, cuz i knw wen i wake up, all of this would jus be in my drms and it would nt happen in real life.. as quoted in a song: 'when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do' >> i tink this is true for me..

we could oni stay as frens n nth else.. tats wad u said, hw i wish it isn't true. bt on the other hand, i oso hope tat we could be frens only, so tat we could be happy like hw we are now. this is so fustrating. hais..

there are so many times tat i jus want to tell u hw i feel..but i cant, cuz im afraid tat u will avoid me in the future.i knw this is cowardly,bt i dun wana lose somebdy like u. even as a fren.. so tis is the only way i can tink of hw to express my feeling for u tru here.

hai.. age is jus numbers.. lol.. rite. =_=

rite,nw shall summerise my life for this past 6 months.. 3 words, s0 so only. lol. have been out of army alrdy, seseame went to heaven( i hope) ='( back frm taiwan and nw looking for a full time job and a part time course.. lol. hope i could get the course tat i want. and i will be goin for the F1 racing PD!!! so happy!! YAY!! haha, hope tat tym wil get to see lots of action. and will be going for AED training course jus for the PD starting on sunday. so excited. lol. its my childhood drm to see real F1 cars racing in front of me.hahaha.

k, think tats all for nw.mayb the nxt post will b in 6mnths from nw? haha.

2007-12-30T08:54:00.000-08:00

its been a long time since i have updated alrdy lols..

lots of tings happened during this month.. gt camp, work, outing, chalet, xmas, etc etc... bt lazy to update.. there too much alrdy. =x n wow.. its alrdy the end of the month, end of the year alrdy.. felt like this yr have passed v fast.. lots of ups n downs.

went to watch alvin n chipmunks ytd.. its v funny lo.. the chipmunks are super cute. haha..like it the way they sing the songs. super nice. any1 can send me the songs? =p

was slping in the morning when i recieved siti's msg saying that a cadet died today due to headache which is in fact cerebellum haemorrage. at 1st tot tat im still dreaming and cont to slp.. only wen i woke up den i realised tat its nt a dream. omg la..up till nw still abit cant believe it. she only jus went for the course last yr n nw shes gone.. =( another e.g. of hw life can have such a unexpected twist. u mayb still here now, bt tml nobody will knw wad happens next.. oh well, live life to the happiest ba. tats my motto.

wanted to go for the funeral bt ended did nt go.. now feeling dam guilty lo.. sianz.

hmm..its the last few days of the year alrdy and this happened..cant imagine wad the parents are goin tru nw, bt tink the parents mux b v v sad nw having to send their child who is so young away nw. altho tis kind of thing happens in the world everyday whr some child die b4 their parents bt still tink its tragic n saddening.haiz.

argh.. altho i duno her well, bt still feel guilty for nt going. shes still a member of us anyways..

hope she will rest in peace and find true comfort in that place ba...

*1 min of silence*

2007-12-01T13:59:00.000-08:00

lol.. its 6am now, havta go NCO course ltr bt my uni is still drying so decided to update here while waiting.

this week has been a fucked up week. really very very unlucky..1stly, went zouk on sat to celebrate mini's bdae.had fun and he gt drunk.lol.din knw he will run about wen hes drunk,went on to chase him and dropped my wallet in the end.luckily i was still able to find it.. if not i confirm die. aft tat, wen i went home, i discovered my PSP's memory card was gone!! fuck la. im sure it was still insode b4 i went in that place and deposit my bag. so im sure its one of the staff tat took it,bt i can't do anything..cux there is alrdy a sign saying they will not b responsible if things go missing. #@$@#%!@#$%@# grr.. hate myself for trusting that place too much. fucked up place. to ppl whos goin to such places in the future, do not bring valuables. its nt a safe place. even if they have storage counter. cant trust them. shit them.

hope tat guy who stole my mem card rot from his asshole n get $@#%#$ by wadeva animal there is. HATE that person

aft this incident, i failed my driving test. lol, den went to top up the cash in order to book another date. aft booking it, den i discovered my bank left 10 bucks oni. dam suay la.. haiz. so havta survive 10days wif 40 bucks. zzzz

end up i cant buy my mem card for psp till nxt month.. so sianz. nw i have a 400 dollar paperweight.. zzzzz

then, this morning wen i was about to iron my uni, i discovered lots of stains on the uni!! walau.. went to wash it and dry.. hope i can make it in time.. haiz.. wen will this eva end?

oh well, gtg.

2007-10-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

hey..its been a long time since i posted in tis blog. lolz. has been lazy and not in the mood to post anything. esp since my life has been boring lately.. haiz. oh wells. bt look on the bright side, at least met some ppl who are quite interesting.haha.. now doin lots of 'work' trying to save up money so tat i can go overseas nxt year. haha. bt strangely, money will always disappear like water ><''

dam..been tinking abt smth lately. getting fustrated. y does every1 sees it tat way and i don't..i jus dun feel it.dun wana give self false hopes.mayb i dun dare alrdy? becoming a coward suddenly..zz. =.= haiz. dun care alrdy. haha..

lately been listening to a song. its my fave alrdy. haha..

back to games... =x

[he’s going out to forget they were together
All that time he was taking her for granted
She wants to see if there’s more
than he gave she’s looking for

He calls her up
He’s trippin on the phone now
He doesn’t want her out there
And alone now
He knows she’s movin it
Knows she’s using it
Now he’s losing it
She don’t care

Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feel the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Back it up now
You’ve got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love

He was always giving her attention
Looking hard to find the things she mentioned
He was dedicated
But most suckers hate it
That girl was fine
But she didn’t appreciate him

She calls him up
She’s tripping on the phone now
He had to get up
And he ain’t comin home now
He’s tryin to forget her
That’s how we come with him
When he first met her
When they first got together

Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feel the beat now

If you got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Back it up now
You got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love

To the beat (x3)
You got nothing to lose
Don’t be afraid to get down

We break up
It’s something that we do now
Everyone has got to do it sometime
It’s okay, let it go
Get out there and find someone

It’s too late to be trippin' on the phone here
Get off the wire
You know everything is good here
Stop what you’re doin'
You don’t wanna ruin
The chance that you got to
find a new one

Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feel the beat now
If you got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Back it up now
You got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love

Nooo...Noooo

Now you know what to do, so come on feelin' good]

(by good charlotte)

it rocks man..

2007-06-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

heya readers,(if there is any) im back!! hahaha.. soooo long nvr blog alrdy.><

been keeping myself busy with lots of duties this past few weeks..lol. so dam tired and abit scared of doing duties alrdy. haha. well.. to cut things short, smth nice happened to me. ahaha. i won a trip to bintan lagoon resort!!!! wooot!!!! man, this is the 1st time i won smth so nice in my near 21 yrs of life. lolz.bt sadly, im nt the 1 goin on the trip as i gt no mre extra leave to take alrdy.. so its mom n bro goin there for me.oh well.. life is such. =x

hmm...i duno y bt i will stil tink of u after so long.zzz..oh well.. time to play games. hope i gt amnesia. haha

2007-05-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

ARGH..FEELING SO SIANZ RITE NW... WAD CAN I DO TO MAKE TIS GO AWAY?? IM LIKE ALONE NW.. TIS IS SHIT.. LOL.

OHWELL.. SHAL UPDATE ABT MY MISERABLE LIFE FOR TIS WEEK.. BEEN HAVING STUPID DREAMS LATELY.. EVERYDAY, JUS CANT TO SLP N DUN FEEL LIKE SLPING AT ALL..END UP GETTING IRRITATED EASILY.. GRR. STUPID PPL... ALWAYS MAKE MI IRRITATED. =X BLOODY MIND OF MINE.ZZZ

WENT TO KICK SOCCER YTD, WAS SUPER FUN. HAHA.DIN PLAYED TT FOR A V V LONG TIME ALRDY. SURPRISED TT IM ABLE TO SCORE 2 GOALS. AHAHA.. ALTHO BOTH OF IT IS BY PURE LUCK. =P HOPE TO PLAY TT AGAIN SOON. HAHA. OH WELLS, DEN WENT TO WS TO MEET AH PEK SL FOR THE 1ST TIME WITH DAR.LOL.. HIS QUITE A OK GUY.. GOIN TO HIS BDAE PARTY ON SUN!! YAY. AHAHA.DEN CAN GO ESCAPE TOO.. ><

OK.. SO TTS ABT ALL OF MY BORING LIFE FOR THIS WEEK. HAHA..

I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE ---

2007-05-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

are u ok? are u ok? ya.. i am...

bullshit. im nt ok lor.. fuck. its so hard to act like everything is ok n smile..

haiz.. i duno who to trust alrdy..sum of u ppl say i tink too much, bt wad if i can see tt its nt? shud i believe in wad u say or myself?

2007-05-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

y r u treating mi so differently frm the other ppl?? y isit tt u can b hapi wif them bt nt me??

why..haiz.. tis is so sianz..

2007-05-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

haiz.. to tink tings was starting to turn gd..

who wud have guess nw its all goin back to the same alrdy. freak man. i reali hate u. get lost.hope u stay in tt zone n nvr come back.stay in tt zone n nvr progress on.u r the reason for me feeling this way. i hate u. make mi lose my confidence, like wadeva i do wun b as gd as u.haiz..if tings are meant to b this way.. wad can i do..

if u wana win. fine.bt im nt goin to gif up so easily.no mre regrets for mi anymore.

2007-05-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

gratz...u haf finally destroyed my faith..u have gotten wad u wanted..hapi nw? u shud b.. cux im going to b removed soon..i reali dislike u bt at the same tym, i envy u. u gt all the tings u wanted..gt tings tt i can oni drm abt. u r the role model tt im trying to folo to be.. bt i dun like u.even for abit.man, tis is so lame...
haiz.. im reali uncomfortable weneva i tink abt u. n yet i havta act like its alrite.wen i tink abt u or see smth tt reminds mi of u, i wud reali hope tt my mind wil shut off or my eyes go blind.. cux i felt reali uncomfortable.grrr...

haiz...
haf u eva felt tt uncomfortable or irritated at sum1?the fear of losing sum1 impt to u?the feelings of u letting sum1 impt to u go n ltr on regret like mad tt y u did nt try harder to make tings wrk out n jus gif up like tt?the feeling of happyness when tt person is back by ur side?the unbearable and weird silence btw u n tt person?up til the extend tt even tho the person is toking to self jus to break the silence u oso wun mind?the feeling of dread coming to u evryday tt history is goin to repeat itself?feel the helplessness tt wadeva u do,there mite stil nt b anything improving, tts goin to happen?tt everyday u have to ask urself wad isit tt make u stay on n belive in?

hai.. i did.

hai...random tots..

2007-05-09T10:28:00.000-07:00

AAAARRRHHHHH

dun.....tink u knw mi..

hate tis feeling of being misunderstood

2007-05-04T05:55:00.000-07:00

i dislike this feeling u give me
i hate this feeling u give me
everytym wen i hear smth tt resembles u..even wen i tink abt u, i get this kind of feeling.
i hate it.. its poisonous.. its eating away my faith.. shit.

hai.. today is the best day of my life. lost my fave ring, duty was super boring.. feeling faint.. damn.. lol..

2007-04-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

hmm.. today is a gd deed day.. lol. cux i went to a children care centre to day to do volunteeer work!! lol.. cant imagine me doing it rite? haha. cux even me myself also cant imagine it. haha. went there with members of stomp, so its like a gathering, bt we went to do volunteer work.ppl who were present were twinkle toes,li hui, miss grins, piecesmonkey, nice n his frens and another guy.. lol. bt 4gt wads his nick alrdy.. opps. ><. den was quite nervous initially,cux one shot see so many plp whom i have never met b4.. lol. bt aft awhile its ok alrdy.. heh,find tt they are v nice ppl. =)

aft meeting up, went to the centre to play with the kids.. the centre is in lavandar. even if i go lavandar for so many tyms, i stil duno tt theres a child care centre there.. haha. the child care centre is a place for the poor ppl whr some of the staff is oso volunteers. haha.

in the end we oni followed our programme abit, bt we had fun.. played bubbles, the tree game, and lao ying zhua xiao ji. lol. so tiring.. they have so much energy la..superactive. lol.

went to take lots of pictures after the event. haha. wif mi as the photographer of course. lol.

so tts the end of the stomp outing...its v fun..lol. hope can do it again soon.. bt hope its nt on sat alrdy.. cux gt ndp trsining liaa.. haiz. haha. oh well..

2007-04-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

i like to slp.. y? cux wen i slp i will drm.. drm of the tyms wen we go out together, they tyms wen we r bth happy jus being with each other, wen we talk abt everything, wen there wuden b any awkward silence between us, all the nice moments tt we shared together..
b4 due to tt FUCKING TING TT I SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now everyday, i wud jus wake up wif full of regrets.. regret of wad i said tt day.. regret tt i have hurt u.. regret of sending tt msg to u.. SHIT!!!! ARGH!! shyt man.. i deserved it.. i hate it.. i dun feel like waking up.. hate it wen i havta pretend tt im nt hurt, pretend tt all of this nvr happened n all is well, pretend tt i dun care about u, pretend tt the reason u are treating me this way nw is nt cux of me...

fuck man...jus let me slp foreva...i reali dun feel like waking up animre..

let mi turn back time... i wud gif anything to turn back time nw.. even my soul..

i miss n love u.. lost u once n nvr wud wana lose u again...

2007-04-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

woot~~!!! today sooo fun!! went for my 1st driving today! hahaha.. i swear driving is super fun la. lol. altho its abit scary at first. bt super nice. haha. went i take the wheel reali feel like pushing the gas all the way dwn. lol. haiz.. miss driving alrdy. lol.

ytd was aprils fool.. bt din get to play any jokes.. too bad. haiz. bt smth scandalous happened. lol.

2007-03-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

its 4am nw.. n i cant slp. lol.today went out for guild outing. was on the way to marina, den met darling halfway on the train.as shes on the waytoo. lol. n she was so nice to accompany as frens were late. so we took the train to commonwealth n back. haha. so funny, bt i enjoyed every moment of it wif her. haha.was abit bu she de to go marina. ahahaa. =p

thnx darling.touched tt u took the train the long way, jus to acc mi longer.^^

ok, so back to the outing. it can b considered a success i hope. cux quite a number of ppl came. lol. bes, pie, lin, cheryl, qiqi, n jj. lol. mre than wad i wud have expected. lolz. so we went to marina sq to see wad tym the movie starts. oni to find out tt all the shw start v late, den proceeded to suntec. haha. n omg lor, saw jl n her frens. ahaha. speak abt coincidence. lol.oh, den we watched '23', the shw is abit lame la.. haha. duno wad isit abt.lol.shud have watched TMNT. lol. hai. oh well, aft went to marina south to eat.. die lor.. goin to die of fatness alrdy. haha. ate til so full. hahaha. aft tt, played para para.. so long din play tt game alrdy. hahaha. rusty liao. n stil as fugly as eva. haha. i mean my 'dancing moves' =x haha.. bt oh well, its a gd form of enertainment to dem. lol.n its funny. ^^

ok..so tts abt hw today goes. lol.

haiz.. nw i miss u.. love ya..=)
reali enjoyed ur company lots and thnx for the tings tt u have done for mi.. ^^

2007-03-26T08:36:00.000-07:00

whoo~ tis weekend is a busy one, bt i like it. haha. ^^ went to hq on sat for NDP training in the aftnoon. tis is so cool la. hahaha. cux finally im back to NDP liao. lol. man, i reali like the atmosphere there sia. feels proud to b a part of the contingent.felt tt i have done smth useful. haha..

so for the nxt duno hw many sat, i wil b busy liao. haha. bt all is gonna b wrth it. =)

sunday was tiring. lol. overslpt la.. den tot i was goin to be late, den in the end i wasn't n was earlier den the others.haha.. cux tt taxi driver drive like crazy like tt. haha. super fast. cool sia. lol.the competition is fun in the morning, bt its super slpy in the aftnoon. lol. actually fell aslp while watchin a case halfway!! lol! lucky no1 noticed it. haha.i hope. den wore part of kh's uniform.so end up,im half officer half nt. ahahaha.. funny sia. lol.

zzzz.. duno wad to type le. haha.brain nt working liao. lol. dam slpy oso..

2007-03-21T04:33:00.000-07:00

tis few days pass quite fast for me.. its like a drm. gt not much memories of wad happened.. its like i pass tis few days in a snap of the fingers..oni rmb tt i went clubbin on fri wif frens n the week end duty. tts all. haiz.tis is shyt man. no life.

oh well..at least clubbing was fun. drank a jug of vodka lime(bt 3/4 of it was ice anyway=.=) n flaming lambogini. haha..its all v nice. ^^ lol. hope to go there again nxt week.bt mux save up le.if nt wil die.

oh ya, aft clubbin, went home to slp for 1 hr den headed off to home nursing lecture alrdy. lol. reali felt like zombie lo.cant reali walk straight too. hahaha.tts so lame. wanted to skip it bt decided nt, cux its the last lesson alrdy. hmm.v hapi tt its the last lesson, cux it means i can slp late on weekends alrdy!! haha.bt im going to miss teaching the cadets tho. haha.

haiz.slpy nw.lol. its like i 4eva din slp enuf. sianz.bt dun feel like slpin, cux wen i slp i wil drm of all the stupid tings i have done.crap. mayb im goin nuts,lol. gt mood swings liao..haha.fren oso agree.lol.

2007-03-14T10:36:00.000-07:00

haiz.. aft all of tis, i finally realised smth.. i haven change yet. im stil the same emo guy 2 yrs ago.. wtf. lame shit.

hai.. stil so po ma. fucker

2007-03-12T03:37:00.000-07:00

k, fine. im stupid n dense n cant understand wad r u saying..

wud it hurt jus to tell mi once mre? i wud reali wana knw wads happening nw.. u said u told mi str to the point b4 alrdy bt i jus cant realise it.. call mi stupid or dumb or wadeva.. jus tell mi once mre... hai..

haiz..or mayb im jus ur 'CCA fren' aft all...
haiz.. duno wad to feel wen i saw tis.. feels like im a replacement..hw irony..*retribution to myself...

2007-03-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

this few days is so sian.. hai..

if u kip on avoiding me and dun wana tell me, hw wud i understand n help u? if u r pissed at me, jus tell me.

2007-03-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

shyt... feeling inferior nw..its coming back to mi alrdy.. shyt shyt shyt.

2007-03-07T08:52:00.000-08:00

heard this frm sum1 which i tink is mature :" love is all abt giving n nt expecting anything in return"

after listening to tis, i feel tt tis wil b the way im gonna love sum1.. tts to gif my love to darling w/o expecting any in return. haha ><>< haha.. bt i can feel the love given by darling, so im hapi. hahaha ^^

*random tots* duno wad am i tryin to say oso. lol

2007-02-28T04:21:00.000-08:00

woke up super early today sia. ahaha.. the new method of waking up reali helps.>< lol. bt nw end up super tired can? lol.feelin dizzy the whole day, like v high like tt. hahaha.so nice. =p anyway. today's work is quite fun. cux today v v busy. wahaha. den tym passes dam fast. oni ting nt gd is during the tym wen i was doin duty.. super bored. fell aslp in frnt of other ppl while changing pass! lol. so paisei.

den jus nw took train home oso can fall aslp while standing! 1st tym reali fell alp sia lucky i din fal flat on my face. =p oh ya, saw tis aunty wen i was takin the bus. tink tt shes v rude sia.. she cut the Q to board bus den push every1 away wen getting out. den stil nt enuff, stil grumble n grumble.. tsk tsk. =.=

hm. nth much to update alrdy. haha. cux i cant tink of anything else.. brain dying today. XD

haha.
*hope to make darling hapi everyday*

2007-02-27T06:33:00.000-08:00

feelin sooo broke nw. lol. took a cab to work for this 2 days. spend like 40 bucks alrdy. haha. n i told myself nt to spend more den 10 each day de. >< haha.. aniways. take cab beta den being super late i guess. haiz. nw feel soo slpy. so decided to update for a while b4 i slp.

well, this week is stil goin on quite smoothly. nt bad nt bad. everyday is hapi to mi cux of darling. haha. =p oh ya, today jus knew tt my collegues n i won the best customership.LOL. tis is funny lo, cux i duno hw we win oso de. =p. haha,den tis fri havta do a video shoot as the ppl wana take video of our work environment n use it for some business stuff. =x feel like taking leave. haha. hmm cant tink of wad else to blog alrdy. ahaha.

waking up to see ur msg is wad i look foreward everyday,
everyday wif u is a day i wil always treasure,
everyday wif u is hapiness for mi,
u bring colors into my life,
i love u darling.. wif all my heart (even tho my heart is alrdy wif u nw) ^^

2007-02-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

hmm.. quite afew tings happened lately. bt cant rmb all le. lol. firstly is i finally am nt lazy n went dwn to book for my 1st driving lesson alrdy. haha. so hope by aug i can pass. den can b my bdae present liao. bt nw my pocket gt one BIG BIG hole alrdy. red packet $ all gone oso. den dun feel like getting the $ from mom oso. haiz.

secondly, tried working for the tele job alrdy. its quite ok la.. tym passes v fast. bt gt to deal wif some of the most irritating ppl. ( still feel tt its amazing hw can sum1 irritate mi jus by a phone) lol. anyways, tok to my boss, say tt its nt v gd to b working. so nw considering whether to cont nt.

haiz.ok, nw for today,

today quite a few tings happen, work was ok.. bt i duno y the tym passes super slow in the morning. den smth happened in the aftnoon. havta go console my fren.den din go to wrok alr. bt its ok. fren mre impt den work ma.hope she felt beta aft tokin. lol.

den wen i reached home, i heard a loud ringing sound, den i went to look. discovered tt 2 ppl were trapped in the lift. lol. so interesting sia. 1st tym i encounter tis kind of incident. so went to help them wif another guy. we went to try n force open the lift door. bt as expected.the door cant b forced open.. haha.. i guess the oni tym lift doors can b forced open by bare hands is oni in the movies. soon aft tt, the guy went to get 2 screw drivers n try to pry open the door. lol!! wen i see tt, i tot its quite dumb la. haha. the screw driver is the small kind one. looks like it will break any moment. bt lucky it did nt. all this lasted for abt 30mins, den the lift repairing guy came. lol. he went tup to the top floor n use a machine to pull the lift up n open the door. lol. nw come to tink of it, lucky im nt the one stuck inside.haha

haiz.stil gt some details, bt all tis nvm. nw darlin sick alr, so mux faster blog den she wil blog. haha. haiz..hope you'll recover soon dar!! n cheer up k!! no matter u tink u hw fugly or wad i stil love u nvrtheless. =)

2007-02-19T14:42:00.000-08:00

ggrraahh!!!! tis cny sux. so many sian tings happened since the eve of cny. haiz.. smth bad happened to mom, den nw shes suffering. haiz. so sian to see her in so much pain. den i cant do anything abt it.grr.. if oni i can share half of her pain. haiz.

so helpless nw. gif painkillers oso useless. even eating slpin pills oso canot slp due to the pain. =x hai.. duno wad i can do to help her feel beta n make the pain go away.. =(

hai.. today u seem weird. duno whether isit cuz of ytd or wad.. bt u act diff eva since tt incident happened. am i tinking too much? i hope i am. isit fading for u?

haiz..dun like tis cny. cant seem to see anything hapi in this festive season. haiz.

2007-02-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

haiz.. all was ok.. duno y suddenly beome like tis.. =(

wen u ask mi that qs, i was lost, n duno wad to tink..

im afraid to say yes, cux it mite scare you away..

bt i cant say no, cux it wil b lying to you..

haiz.bt in the end i stil said yes but tts for now.. in the future i reali duno.

wen u say u wana cont to b wif mi, i honestly felt relieved n hapi.. it does nt matter even if we wil nt b together foreva, cux i jus wana b wif u now. wen i said "i dun mind" it was a lie. in my heart, i mind alot alot.. haiz. my bad habit is stil here, i always say smth i dun mean n end up hurting u.

hai.. bt theres one ting tt i said n i mean it.. i love you dar, frm the btm of my heart.

2007-02-16T09:17:00.000-08:00

woot~ finally today has come. haha. cux its friday n tml is CNY eve!! wahaha,felt like tis week went past in a flash. lol. lots of tings happened tis week. n most of them are happy ones. hahaha ^^

went to work today feelin v slpy.bt din ovaslpt in bus or mrt! hahaha.. miracle sia. so proud of myself.lol.work was ok today, cux its super slack la. jus read books n tok almost the whole day. lol. den today gt 2 hrs off! haha. so acc frens to play lan. wa.. dam sianz lo. kip on losing de. haha. they too pro liao.haha. aft tt went to eat dinner wif them. den found out tt theres a event which will b held at copthrone n there will b a buffet.haha, n it cost oni $15 lo. so gd! so i str8 away say i wana go le. wahaha.

den on my way home, as i board the bus, i cant find my ez link, so i stand at the entrance for afew mins, searching all my pockets, bt stil cant find. so embaressing.so i decided to go dwn the bus n check. den aft i went dwn the bus, the moment i put my hand in my jeans pocket, i found it le.n i swear tt awhile ago i cant find it. lol. so weird.bt heres the best part, aft i found it le, the bus stil haven leave the stop yet. so i went to chase aft it, bt the bus driver din see, so he drove off. =.= so embaressing... haiz. cux the ppl at bustop were all jus lookin at mi. haiz. haha. suay. slpt on the bus, n gt the weirdest dream. haha, dreamt tt E was smsing mi.den i woke up. n jus aft i woke up afew secs ltr, i reali recieve her msg. ahaha.

went to fetch E home.wanted to gif her a surprise de. haha. bt in the end i gt 1 instead, cux i expected her dad to fetch, bt end up dun haf. haha. felt so hapi wen i saw her. haha.. >< missed her soo much. lol.den 4gt to tell her wad i wana say oso. =x haha. nvm. nxt tym mux tell her. lol.

*today i was abit rush, so sry if i scared u. nw to tink of it, i felt like i was forcing u to do smth u are nt rdy yet.. felt soo bad.
u dun have to force urself for mi k? i love u, n i dun hope for u to feel pressurized n do smth for mi oni.
i reali meant it.
tym spent wif u is always a memorable one, even tho sumtyms i can oni b wif u for awhile. bt im hapi le.
loving ya always my darlin!! haha =p

2007-02-15T08:48:00.000-08:00

Whooot~~! hahaha.. so hapi today can? lol. cux smth reali v nice happened today. haha. in fact im stil abit in drm land, haha. cux abit too gd to b true. lol. anyway... im hapi cux E said yes! wahaha.. omg. so hapi. lol. wen i 1st saw tt msg she sent, i was so hapi. lol.. kip smiling to myself while walking. haha. den the ppl saw mi wif an amused expression.haha. bt dun care them la. lol. i hapi can le. wahaha..

so.. here i am, in a competition in see who finish blogging faster again. haha. canot lose lo, if i lose den i havta become the servant. n i knw wads shes goin to do.. aiyer. lol.

to E :

thnx for accepting mi,
my feelins for u is serious de..
even tho sumtyms i wil say it like i dun mean it,
bt deep dwn i my heart,
i reali meant it,
i love u.
oni u are capable of making mi feel tis way..
i hope we wil b together for along long tym..
even tho i met u jus nw,
im alrdy missing u like crazy alrdy. haiz.
evryting tt i did for u, i dun ask for u to repay mi.
i jus wan u to b hapi..
so dun feel guilty k? =)

2007-02-11T07:33:00.000-08:00

zzz... dam slpy nw.lol.. oni slpt for 3 hrs today! went to Hq for lecture. today is the 1st lecture of HN for the cadets. lol. find it quite fun. altho i tink tt it can b improved. i stil nt tt pro yet. haha. stil can see sum of the cadets are bored. haha.mux learn hw to attract their attention. =x

haha.. aft lect, went to buy clothes wif bro n wx. haha. spent lots of $ sia.. n oni bought 3 clothes. crazy. haha.bt nvm. cux mom sponsor ma. wahaha.. bt stil abit heart pain la.den nth much to buy compared to the last tym oso. haiz. abit disappointed. bt at least i bought smth. so its nt tt bad.waha.

went to eat at mariott for dinner.. so nice!! haha. esp the strawberry cheese cake. haaha, so nw strawberry cheesecake shall b my new fave dessert. lol. lucky ate tt in buffet, cux if wana buy outside, it cost 5 bucks for a small slice. so ex! ><" haha,bt stil gt other tings tts quite nice la.. gt jap food, chi food n westrn de.haiz.. tml monday liao.. den gotta work n end v late.. so shal go slp le. sianz

haiz..wana tell u tt wad i said ytd is all tru de. nth fake. esp wen i say tt person i like is u. oh well.

2007-02-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

i loved u once... so y cant i love u once mre?

2007-02-10T08:48:00.000-08:00

lol.. todays quite fun, went out wif ah pie the whole of today. lol. actually gt go sentosa wif cheryl bt since she cant make it so its oni us 2 guys. haha. went to amk to eat n play pool. den while eating i heard sum1 calling my name, den wen i look up, i saw boo, yanyin n jia li. haha. den the 1st ting i said was omg. hahaha. dots. so in the end played pool wif 5 ppl. was qute ok, bt find tt pool is abit boring. haha. prefer bowlin beta. lol

aft tt, boo n gang went off le, so mi n pie went arcade. went there to play the basketball throwing game. we can play til stage 3!! hahaha. so funny. cux the oni reason y we can play til stage 3 is cux the sensor of the game spoilt. so sumtyms wen we throw the ball in, it will register tt 3-4 balls went in alrdy. hahaha. so funny.den end up playin 6 games, play til fingers cramp. haha. cant even type sms properly. =x

haha..haiz. abit hope tml nvr comes. cux i gt lecture tml!! sianz. havta wake up at 6am n nw i stil haven slp. lol. tml die liao. notes haven read oso.

hmm, to E: cheer up k? dun feel so depress n like u are a failure like tt, cux in fact U R NT. 100% confirm plus chop. haha. =D

2007-02-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

wheeeeeeee~~!! pay day is here!! wahaha.. finally can b out of the poor man zone for afew days le. lol. hmm.. cant tink of wad to update leh. haha. nw update is cux in a competition wif E to see who blog faster. lol. lose liao den mux become servant to winner.. aiyer.. =x

hmm.. went to orchad to accompany E for job interview when i was supposed to take mc n stay at home.haha.bt nvm la, i dun feel sick at all, n wil b v bored wen i stay at home.=x
n tt ger was late n duno hw to go to the interview venue so in the end we havta walk like crazy to find the place. in the end we cant even find the place, so gave up le. haha.
aft orchad, went to tanjong pagar for another interview. n guess wad, i gt interviewed oso. lol. so nw nxt monday supposed to b today,bt boss changed her mind,so i havta go for the job's trial to see if i make it for the job nt. lol. i tink it wil nt b easy ba.. cux its telemarketing de. n im nt too gd at sales. hai.. oh well, i shal try my best cux its 7/hr! lol. alot sia..

aft tt went to tm to meet family for dinner. ate at jacks place.. ate the combo set. bt 4gt wad isit called alrdy. haha. nt bad la.. bt shall try other tings nxt tym. lol.. so in the end my mc was spent in tis way.. haha. lcky no1 caught mi outside. otherwise die le.

ok, so nw for todays stuff...

nth much happened. lol. usual stuff. jus went back to wrk with the feeling tt its monday today wen its friday. haha. haiz. blur liao. i nid a rest. lol. coughing like mad nw. cant tok properly w/o talkin de. =x

E did smth tt made mi felt hapi today.lol. she wanted to gave mi bread cux she tot i wil b rushing for work n wun have tym to eat.n she nearly was late cux she did tis for mi..felt guilty.bt reali thnx alot ^^! even tho end up i din wrk today n din take ur bread, bt reali thnx! =) i apprieciate wad u did.haha.

haiz.. tml supposed to go sentosa to play de. bt nw its cancelled, cux 2 of my frens cant make it. sianz.. so wil go hang out wif ah pie tml. haha. mayb goin to play pool cux alrdy settled on playin tt a long tym ago le. tink wil get trashed by him tml. lol. n shall go register for driving lesson tml if i can wake up in tym. haha.

so slpy.................. diededededed

i tink i gt no chance le... haiz. shall leave it to fate ba. if its wad meant to b it will be..
zzz..

2007-02-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

woot~~ today so slack. lol. nt much ppl went for check up today, so end up slacking mst of the tym. ahhaa. hope everyday like tt. so nice n peaceful. ahaha. haiz.. reali sick liao, nw coughing til my abdomen muscle hurts. even my I/C oso ask mi to take MC tml. haha. =x sians. bt nvm la. at least no nid to wrk. lol. tonite mux slp early le. haha, canot stay up late liao. sad.bt who cares. lol =p

lol, met a nursing frm whom i haven seen for a long long tym alrdy. toked for awhile cux her bus came shrtly. too bad. =x bt she stil looks the same. haha,n she say im fatter liao =_= haa.. die liao. alot of ppl say tt sia. mux do smth abt it. lol

ARGH... the song is stil stuck in my head. lol. madness.

hmm, felt abit jealous over sum1 today. lol. =x

wen i c u, my heart wud beat quite fast,
wen i look into ur eyes, i wud b shy,
wen i hear u laugh n c u hapi, im hapi too,
wud hate to see u sad.. =(

hai.. nvm. sayin random stuff nw =x

2007-02-05T07:56:00.000-08:00

zzz.. duno wad to blog nw leh..bt im here to jus blog so tt sum1 wun dun care abt mi le. haha. jus jkin la.

aniways, today i ovaslpt sia!! omg.haha. 1st tym in my i change sooo fast n get out of the house sia.oni used 5mins. haha..den havta take taxi to mrt. so ex sia.. bt i stil made it in tym.

wrk is ok today... lol.nth much.oni teach the new guy sum stuff.. tml havta cont again. reminds mi of myself wen i first went in to work there. haha.. so ignorant.

i love it wen u call.. i love it wen u call.. n i mean it.

2007-02-05T05:30:00.000-08:00

I had a dream we went away
Left this city for a day
You took me southwards on a plane
And showed me
Spain or somewhere
But in reality you're not so keen to show me anything
And I thought you liked me
Hey, show some love, you aint so tough
Come fill my little world right up, right up
Someday you're going to realise(I want you)
To fill my little world right up, right up, right up
Yeah, so what you gonna do
With all this stuff piling up, filling up and taking up
You misunderstand me
All I wanted was some evidence
That you really like me(You really like me)
Hey, show some love, you aint so tough
Come fill my little world right up, right up
Someday you're going to realise(I want you)
To fill my little world right up, right up, right up
Maybe it's all too muchHow come we're so messed up
Maybe I'm not enough
Maybe you're just too much
Hey, show some love, you aint so tough
Come fill my little world right up
OhhOhhYeah
Hey, show some love, you aint so tough
Come fill my little world right up, right up
Someday you're going to realise(I want you)
To fill my little world right up, right up
Hey, show some love, you aint so tough
Come fill my little world right up, right up
Someday you're going to realiseThat I'm passing you by
So fill your little world right up, right up, right up
Ohh
Come on and show me you aint so tough

by the feeling

lol.. lately kip on listening to tis song.. tink i mux b mad alrdy. listen for mre than 20+ tyms liao. ahaha..
today feels so long.. cux i miss u.. =x

2007-02-04T01:45:00.000-08:00

those tings tt i said to u are wad i meant n frm my heart de.. bt if u dunwana tink tt way, den its fine.. i guess its too late to tell u all tis alrdy. bt i wil stil say,cux i wana let u knw. i reali care for u, i stil miss u, i look forward in meeting u n ur sms, cux it jus makes mi hapi to see u n ur smses.asked myelf whether wud i feel tis way for a gd fren or whether im fallin in love wif u many tyms.. n my ans is the last one..

nt sure who u like nw.. bt i wil wait.. till the day u tell mi.

take care.

2007-02-04T01:12:00.000-08:00

zzz.. nw abit tired.lol. had a long day ytd.. went to hq for the zone home nursing meeting. so sianz. den was late. ahaha.. so its settled liao, nxt week the lectures n everyting will start,so.. for the nxt few weeks til april, i wil b giving lessons frm 800 to 1330hrs.. sian la.. 5 1/2 hrs!! omg. haha.. dieded. den stil haven finish. heard them say july stil gt anoter tym.. haiz.. haha. bt wad to do.. mux help out.

den aft tt went to yj house for bbq. haha. his house dam big la. gt 3 stories den stil gt mini pond wif waterfall de.. so nice. 1st tym see sia. haha ><(i look like noob.so sua gu.)
went there to help set up fire. haha. so fun.nid 3 ppl to fan the fire.haha.if nt the fire wun b big. aft tt ate abit oni, den played the ps2. haha. den in the end played til we decided to stay over at his house.haha. so fun. his sofa v pro one. haha. cux the bottom of the sofa can extend out to b a long sofa so tt i can b in a lying dwn position. den so comfortable. haha. wana buy 1 for my house. lol.

aft tt in morning he drove us home, den smth funny happened.haha. i was sitting alone on the back seat, den as he was turing at a traffic lite.. BANG! i slid from the right side to the left and banged onto the door.haha.shocked mi sia. tot the door wil fly open n i wil fly out. =.= haha.. beta wear a seat belt nxt tym. lol

nw abit tired le.. ltr mux slp early tonite.lol.

2007-01-31T07:50:00.000-08:00

yay!! i gt promoted today le! hahaha.. so hapi! finally gt tt extra 20bucks evry mnth liao.. LOL. sounds pathtic sia. sobx =( bt wad to do.. its the fact ma. haiz. wished my pay wud b more tho... gt so many things i wana buy. hahaha. =p

went to visit a E today.. heard tt shes feelin dwn, so went to cheer her up.haha.. =p hmm..wen u feel dwn can find mi k? i will try to cheer u up de. haha. mux smile mre k? u look nicer wen u smile! haha =p bt mst smile cux u feel hapi n nt those kind of forced one. haha. =x

hmm, i duno wad im feelin for u nw.. i feel tt i lke u, bt im afraid tt its nt wad i tink it is, n jus a substitude. i dunwana hurt u.. jus give mi sum tym. i let u knw..

2007-01-29T06:58:00.000-08:00

so long din blg le.. felt lazy lately lol..

so much ting has happened.. haiz. oh well. became single again le. lol.

saying sry nw is nt goin to change anything n so dun say it.. its not helping at all. if u feel guilty abt it den i feel tt its nt wrth it. u can stop feeling tt way alrdy. im ok wif it.

2007-01-22T08:44:00.000-08:00

haiz.. it reali happened liao.. so sianzzz.. ytd can b considered my happy day n my sad day ba..

hapi cux i gt a award for camp.. sad cux i lost smth in life.. haiz.

duno hw to say...bt i feel its unfair.y mux i change to suit u jus cux u changed n like other type of ppl liao? y cant i jus b myself n u accept mi for who i am? zzzz =.= dun care le la. jus go away..

bb

2007-01-06T11:46:00.000-08:00

woot~! went OCH today! haha.. nice sia. bt abit too bad, cux went there in the evening, den havta leave jus as the sun sets..hmm.. is quite interesting inside actually. get to see wad the wards n ot in the past look like. i dun tink its reali so scary. =x haha.. mayb its cux i went there wen theres stil sun ba.. nxt tym mux go during midnite. lol. TAT WILL B FUN =p

hmm.. duno wad hapen these days.. so confusing.. since tt day on.. its like nth hapened?zzz.. =_=''' im lost. oh well, jus enjoy the moments nw ba.. haiz.. if its gone 1 day.. den.. so b it.

wen u like a person, wadeva tt person do will seem nice n swt to u, bt wen feelings are lost wadeva tt person do, u wil jus tink tts its a waste of tym n annoying...

*wads urs will b urs, wads nt will nvr be...*

tym to take medicine liao.....

2007-01-01T18:47:00.000-08:00

dam sianz..am i reali a fake? im reali hurt wen u said tis to mi.. everytym wen im gd to u or ppl is wad i reali wanted to do.. its frm my heart de.no motives.. bt y isit being seen tt im jus being a fake n oni helpin sum ppl jus to get rewards n put on a shw?im reali dam hurt.. im starting to tink tt it does nt pay to b gd..zzz..

i admit tt im nt handsome nor stylish or wad n im nt gd wif words, bt tis is who i am. i knw tt u haf gd intensions for asking mi to change my looks n wadeva.. bt sumtyms i cant help but wonder, isit reali for mi or jus cux ur peers say tt im too ugly for u?

sumtyms, the way i tok may sound like im irritated by u or i dun care abt u, bt the fact is im nt irritated n i care.. i can swear n promise tt i have nvr eva been iritated n dun care abt u since the day im wif u.ya, im nt romantic or swt, bt im trying to b. u may nt see it, bt i reali im..its jus tt im jus too coward..zzz

said tt u wud accept mi for who i am.. isit true? i duno le..

man.. wad a way to start a new day of the year..

btw, hapi 2007 ppl..

hope mine wil b gd.=x

2006-12-25T18:44:00.000-08:00

ooo.. mery xmas evry1!! lol. updated long tym ago le bt din post.. =x haha

had fun today.went orchad n chose clothes for pie! haha.. let him go tru extreme make over. lolz
went to countdown at orchad n played with the spray cans! haha. so fun~ kip on spraynig ppl bt in the end kena gang.. =.= den was covered all in foam. lol. fun sia... too bad oni 3 person go.. hope nxt yr will have lots of ppl =p

2006-12-19T09:03:00.000-08:00

altho there is still contact, bt feels tt theres smth missing in between us.. duno wad isit tho. wonder do u feel it too..

duno hw to tok to u animre, duno wad to tok to u animre, dun understand wad r u feeling animre..feels like we r goin to b strangers once again..shyt.

lately cant slp.. n its taking its toll on mi le.. man. i wana slp.. bt i jus cant fall aslp wif all this tots. crap. i hate tis.

hmm.. CRAP.. feel like turning tym back..

2006-12-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

haiz.. aft some tinking, feel tt if its gonna b tt way den so b it ba.. altho wil feel sad bt its part of life.. oh well..

2006-12-17T08:36:00.000-08:00

hw long has it been since i felt tis way??

the feeling of losing something, the feeling of losing sum1 impt,the feeling tt soon i wil b gone again...

oh man. i reali hope tt i will nt feel tis way animre. it reali hurts. its nt gd n it wil make all tings complicated.surprised tt sum1 wud make mi feel tis way again.. =x
hw nw? haiz... shall go tink abt it n trust tt person ba....nth much i can do..

y...y does it always happen?haiz

*helpless, fear, worried n sianzz*

2006-11-13T08:03:00.000-08:00

so long din update le... so many tings happened during this past mnth..gt good n bad tyms.. bt mostly can be considered gd tyms ba..

today gt a ting tt made mi quite disappointed today.. tis phrase of "the higher ur expectations, the greater ur disappointment" reali happened today...
guess i reali put too much expection of doin smth le.. bt in the end i din get to do it, so reali felt quite disapointed.

bt most disappointing ting was tt abt myself.. cux everytym i say i wan sum1 to b hapi n tt its the mst impt ting..bt today, i saw my selfish side.. haiz.i reali hate it. i din tink abt wad tt person reali wan, n whether will tt person wil b truly hapi anot.. all i tink was abt myself. n in the end wen tt person reali chose to do the ting she reali wans n is truly hapi doing it, i gt abit upset.. zzz

i beta change tis tinkin of mine ba.. "tings cant always go the way u wan...so.... accept it."

haiz.. y i always end up liking tis kind of person....??dots

2006-10-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

zzz...feelin feverish and havin sorethroat lately... dam sianzz... bt im SURE i will be better de!!haha.. cux i ate kfc! lol.. ate the cheesy meal. nt bad sia.. n tis is wad i call "yi du gong du" (fite poison wif poison) =p haha..
hmm, to get over sum matters is to get obessed with sumting else.. so.. im now obsessed wif ms. lol... =_='' haiz.. wen will i get over tis.. i wonder..

oh oh oh! n todays mom's bdae! hapi bdae mom! lol.. n i wish all ppl a "hapi bdae!!" whos bdae is on today! ^^

2006-09-30T00:02:00.000-07:00

whee~~ aft so long of nt postin my blog, im back.. lol. reali played v hard tis few weeks. haha.. play till im so broke nw. finally no more $ in my acc le. guess the ns pay is super nt enuf. =x hai. mux go find sum ways to earn $ liao since im too lazy to go find work. lol

met sum of my frens whom i haven seen for a long tym ago de.. reali fun to see them again sia. n they still look the same. bt oni i changed.lol.. cux they say i am fatter liao =.=.. which is werid cux other ppl go ns n become thinner bt i become fatter.. =x lolz.oh well, went to tangs to go buy mooncake. n there gt alot of ppl n so many diff kinds of mooncakel! lol. gt one flavour is the red wine de, n tts the best one. haha.. cux at 1st bite, can taste the grape den aft tt den gt abit of alcohol taste, reali nice sia.. wanted to buy bt i gt no $ left le =( haiz..

ok, enuf of ytd, today i finally take of my braces le!!!!!! whoot~! hahaha.. so hapi, finally NO MORE BRACES. XD bt gt stupid retainer stuck at my teeth for the rest of my life >=( den its unremovable cux dentist say if i remove my teeth may move about and it mayb return to its ugly state or even wrse..=x grr.. den nw wen i tok, i feel like a retard cux i cant seem to speak properly.. =.= went to celebrate my frens bdae oso.. bought a cake n its super ex.. cux its the last one le.. haiz.. reali broke now. havta eat grass to survive tis 2 wks le.. DEN i stil gt 1 mre bdae present to buy!! omg.. lol

im so broke so broke so broke so broke... zzz.. bankrupt. lol. i have a spending habit liao.. die...

eat grass n tree barks tml..

2006-08-21T09:58:00.000-07:00

Its monday!!!! bt im nt having ani monday blues!! hahaha.. cux today is my bdae!! lolz. n the other best thing is tt i dun havta go to work today! so glad. lol!

haiz.. im in my 20s liao.. so sad. cux i oni gt 1 mre year of teenage life b4 goin fully to adulthood... noooooooooooooooooo...... so nw i mux play as hard as i can. wahaha!! n tt shall b my new motto n goal of this year. =p

tis years bdae was a v gd one! hahaha.. cux lots of my frens wished mi hapi bdae! even those tt i din expect de oso did tt ^^. reali wana say thnx to ah bes,cheryl,sha n na for celebrating wif mi n singin bdae song. lol. n esp esp sha n na! THNX ALOT! u 2 reali made my bdae special tis yr>< lol.. crzy of u2 to ask stranger to wish mi a hapi bdae bt im reali hapi. lolz. so touched.

tis year recieve lots of presents oso. lol! gt a shirt(a v nice shirt tt fits jus nice) frm ah bes
gt a shirt frm bro,watch frm mom n present frm yh n yw. lol! thnx ppl! ^^ u all made my day! hahaha..ok. nw i shall go n play as hard as i can liaoz.

ZAO nw

2006-07-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

yay!! v hapi today!! ahaha.. cux its fri!! been waiting for tis day since monday.. lolz.

had a bowling comp today..suposed to form a team wif my collegues n frens.. bt in the end, we gt seperated into 2 teams!! haiz.. n i was teamed up wif my fren n superior! walau.. wen i first knw tt, i tink we gg liao.cux all duno hw to play de..except for my fren... lol.. bt!! in the end.. we got third place!! lol!! so unexpected!! hahaha.. n its all to my fren. lolz. hope they tym they will have tis kinda event soon.. cux tru tis event, it can help to bond ppl closer..

den arnd 10+ went out wif c to east coast cux shes felin sianz. lol..wanted to go there to see stars.. bt end up seeing abit n nt too clear cux too many clouds blockin the stars le =x. oni can see planes... =.='' den aft tt we walked back to bedk frm east coast as there were no mre buses le..den dunwana take cab cux too ex...n it took us 2hrs+ to walk sia... lol.. madness.. nw my leg super tired... =x bt its fun ^^like hiking like tt.. haha.. den can walk on the road like we own the road like tt.. lolz..felt so relax wen im wif her... cham liao...=x haiz

2006-07-07T07:56:00.000-07:00

its been 3 wks since i went in to work le.. so fast =) den goin to finish my OJT (on job training) liao. hope i will pass my test on nxt wed. it needis 75% den count as pass leh... so sianz
the ppl there quite fun to b wif..lol. n i made sum frens^^

so long din blog liao.. duno wad else to blog abt. lolx. oh, gt once went to watch movie wif frens.. den we were suppose to watch scary movie4 de.. bt we went into the wrng theater!!!! lol.. den ended up watchin R.V. hahaa.oni realised tt we went into the wrng theater aft the show starts for 15mins. =.=... so malu..

hmm.. so long din haf tis kind of feelin for sum1 le.. so dots.. haiz.. hw shall i express wad i feel? so sianz.... tink its nt gonna work out.. mayb i shud gif up ba.. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

everytym wen i feel tt the distance is getting closer... it jux goes the opposite way.. hw can i close the gap?

2006-06-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

felt so tired...zzzz.. everyday waking up at 515am is reali getting to mi.. feels like nt getting enuf slp evryday.. so sianz. aniway.. nw is the world cup!!! bet lots of ppl are reali into the world cup fever. lolz.speaking of bets, read in newspaper tt lots of ppl watch world cup is cux of betting.n i tink tts true.cux my frens are betting,my relatives are betting, my collegues are betting, etc etc. bt im nt betting tho. lol. altho betting is nt bad, n im nt against it, bt i feel tt wen u watch soccer cux of the bets, den it somehow destroys the real fun of watchin soccer.

smth fun happened tis wk^^ went to stay over at heidi's house wif the rest of the 'jie meis' lol. went to watch soccer at the macs near her house (the match between brazil n gahn). it was v pack sia..bt during the match, the whole mac is v silent sia, den wen brazil scores or wen gahn nearly scored, all the ppl in mac like become one. cux evry1 will cheer at the same tym wen theres a goal or moan wen a shot missed by alittle bit. lolz. its reali funny sia. lol. den can tell alot of ppl in mac are betting on tt match, cux theres once wen brazil nearly scored a goal n missed, afew ppl looked like they were so relieved. lol.den they look stressed during the match. haha.

aft the match we went to her house liao. played dai dee in her house den tok crap.lolz. bt too bad, i left her house at 6am cux i gotta go to work. so sianz. bt its fun. lolz. n i fell aslp during work =x. lucky my manager n other public are nt ard. otherwise i die liao =x.

tml is friday!!! yay!! it means wkend is comming soon.. wheee!!!

2006-06-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

so sianzzzz.... its monday again!!! haiz. week end pass so fast de.. its gonna been another hectic wk again starting tml..=.='' gt to wake up at 5.15 everyday.. siao liao...
haiz..

That Thing You DoThe Wonders:

You, Doing that thing you doBreaking my heart into a million pieces like you always do!And you, don't mean to be cruel, you never even knew about the heartache, I've been going through
*And I try and try to forget you girl, but it's just so hard to do...everytime you do that thing you do
I, know all the games you playAnd I'm gonna find a way to let you know thatYou'll be mine somedayCause we, could be happy can't you see, if you'd only let me be the one to hold you and keep you here with me
*Cause I try and try to forget you girl, but it's just so hard to do...everytime you do that thing you do
I don't ask a lot girl (I don't ask a lot girl)But I know one things for sure (know one things for sure)It's the love I haven't got girlAnd I just can't take it anymore
(interlude)
Cause we, could be happy can't you seeIf you'd only let me be the one to hold youAnd keep you here with me
Cause it hurts me so just to see you goAround with someone newAnd if I know you you're doing that thingEvery day just doing that thingI can't take you doing that thing you do

2006-06-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

wow... today is my grad day!!! yay! finally grad liao. hahaha.. so hapi today..bt the ceremony is v v v v boring!!!!!! oni ting hapi is i get to see almost all my fens again.lolz slpt tru the speeches given by he guest of honor. lolz.. lucky din snore.

went up the stage to get my cert. den was still slpy as i jux got up frm a small nap.. so wen i was goin up the stage,i was dragging my feet.. =.=.. lolz.. den was so blur n duno whr to look at the camera. nw wen i tink of it, im nt even sure did i smile anot.. =.=..

haiz... tml i will go into hell le..so sianzz.. no mre freedom =.=

btw,grats to all ppl who graduated today!!!!! ^^

2006-06-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

overslpt today.. =.='' was supposed to meet him to bring him to hospital at 8am. bt i woke up at 8!! den i faster get dressed n leave the hse in 5mins.. bt to my surprise,his nt at the place whr im supposed to meet him. so i went to his hse to find him, bt end up his hse mates said he left the hse liao.. =.= so gt no choice bt to decide to go back home n wait.. bt on my way home, he called to say his at coffeeshop! WALAU.. alrdy say meet at my hse at 8 bt his at THE COFFEESHOP at 8+?! walau.. abit irritated.. so i head to the coffee shop, n he was there drinkin again.. =.=''

was abitttt pissed.. bt decided to control.. n sat dwn wif him.. grr.. sat at the coffeeshop till 930 wen the appt shud b at 830! walau.. i kept on tellin him to go bt he wuden listen.. stil can smile n say nvm.. nearly wanted to wack tt silly grin off his face. =.=, bt i controlled.

den on our way there, he said tt he dun care wad hapen to him liao.. haiz. v irritated.. grr,cux its like lots of ppl are concerned abt u n want to help u, bt u dun help urself? den wads the use of us helpin?haiz.. irritated.shal nt tok further abt it liao.. sianz 1/2

n another ting happened... its abt her crying.. haiz. i guess she finally cant take the stress at wrk liao.. n many other tings happened..finalncial n health stuffs..evrytings screwed.. =x

haiz. wen she cried, i duno wad to do sia.. i jus stoned there n looked.. nw come to tink of it, im useless... dots. lucky bro was ard.. haiz, at least he did smth..

hope the report on wed will b fine..

haiz.. too much worrying is tiring.. will get brk dwn de..

im too tired for tis kind of shit liao.... reali wana get out.. bt i cant..y? cux im still related to dem n i mux help dem.. haiz..

these days.. keep on drmin of tat person.. haiz.. hope u reali exsist..
*hopes to slp 4eva..* pathetic mi....

2006-05-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

had a weird drm today... lolz. drmt of lots of ppl. drm tt mom n dad smiled n tok to each other... lolz. weird..

felt tt its weird cux its been so many yrs since i have seen them smile n tok to each other ba... suddenly missed those tyms.. haiz. so pathetic. i sound like those childish little kids... =.='' bt sumtyms i reali envy thse ppl whose parents are stil together..
for e.g. my frens families are goin to their graduation during the graduation day.. bt my parents are nt goin.. altho im the one who told them nt to go.. bt the reason y i dunwan them to go is cux i knw tt bth of them cant b present at the same place at the same tym.. smth bad is sure gonna happen n evry1 will b unhappy..
haiz.. bt wad can i do sia.. feelin v sianz... bt oh well. its jux a ceremony.. nth much.. =x

well.. back to my drm.. i drm of tt sum1 again.. -.-'' its been so long since i drmt of tt person.. was abit surprised. tt person was tokin on the phone.. n din notice me even tho i was jux in frnt.. dots..

i have been tinking.. altho its fun n swt to have a r/s bt it doesn't last long... n its dam tiring.. n it may hurt in the end...so mayb its beta to b single all my life?to be free frm all the tiring tings.. to have fun..
hmm.. im saying all tis is mayb cux i haven met the rite person ba... or mayb i have met tt person le, bt i let it slip away?or mayb its due to the real life examples of lousy r/s tt made mi lose hope of finding the rite person in my life..

*talking rubbish* =_='''
wadeva............ jux trying to live day by day...

2006-05-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

today is sooooooooooooo cool n fun!!! haha.. cux i finally met cheryl n pyro for the 1st tym in real life! haha. went to lot 1 to meet dem wif qi bt i was late ><. haha, lucky they are kind enuf nt to kill mi. lolz. wen we 1st met, was so awkward. haha.. bt soon gt lots of tings to tok le. hahaha.. turns out tt they are oso v lame de.. so its v v fun. haha.. cheryl is reali small sia. lol.. like the wind cud blow her away anitym like tt. den the way she dress is like too mature for her age liao. lol.. gers these days reali knw hw to make up le... nt bad nt bad.
den pyro is ok lookin tho. den the way he laugh is funny.. his action is v v big de. den can tok lots of crap oso. haha. aft goin to lot1, cheryl went home n the rest of us went to orchad to eat dinner.
at orchad, evry restuarant is like full hse sia.. we walked frm far east to taka den to cineleisure den gt tings to eat. lol.. aft tt went to taka for ice cream.its super nice la... lol. den aft tt go home le.. so tired.
reali glad to knw all these ppl.. had great fun today. ^^
oh, n we took neo print! haha.. so funny. cux mst of the neo print oni gt half of our faces lol..wheee

2006-05-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

went ah xia hse to visit her n sq today ^^ so long din see them le.. haha.. den sq so big liao. bt v v v v adorable sia. ahaha.. den carry her til my hands nw numb liao n no strength le. lolz.

played dai dee the whole day oso. haha.

nw lazy to type liao.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz so sianz

2006-05-16T09:40:00.000-07:00

yay.. today was fun.. lolz. went to fren's hse to play. haha.. played fatal frame2 n omg, tt game is super scary la.. the ghost will come out of no whr de. n the graphics is v gd oso.. v impressive. haha. hope tonite i wil have no nitemares. ><

hmm.. i tink sumtings happenin to my leg.. its nearly completely numb le.. =.='' i tink tis tym sumting bad is gonna happen... haiz. abit scared nw.. sianz

2006-05-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

rarw! today i finaly exploded le. -.-' was reali angry at sum1. wow.. den was abit shocked abt myself. lolz. cux din knw i wil b tis angry n im capable of feelin tis way.. haha.. reali v long din felt so angry liao..

lol.. finally discovered another ting tt wil make mi so pissed.. -.-''

bt its dam tiring to b so angry.. haiz. hope i did scold sum sense into tt person..

tiring day... haiz.. reali felt drained..

2006-05-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

ok.. yesterday's nonsense has con't to today..

been doin nth much today.. so sianz..

today, u ask mi abt wad i felt abt tis ytd's crap situation. wad can i say to u? i can oni say i dun care.. its ur business n im tired of concerning liao..

n u say since i saw wad happen so u feel tt u owe mi an explanation?!?! tts BULLSHIT.

so tt means if ytd i din hapen to see, u will keep quiet 4eva? or keep quiet til smth happens? stop tellin mi u owe mi an explaination jux cux I SAW EVRYTING. tts so irritating.cux if u reali tot tt u owe mi an explaination, u wud have told mi abt tt ting n explain y to mi long tym agao.. grr, tis totally piss mi off..n nw i duno whether to trust u anymre...

come to tink of it, no wonder u wana knw whr i will b goin.. so u can cary out ur plan..

FREAK, i hate my life nw..evrytings SCREWED.

n today, another IDIOT came n tok to mi abt STUPID STUFF!! WALAU!

so,wad u mean 'if i die, den dun come n acknowledge me?' FREAKING ASS idiot.. u knw i wun wad, so u said tt jux to get my attention n sympathy?!?! if tts so, den u havta try harder. cux its getting ZERO sympathy frm mi. reali wanted to call u to fuck off, bt i cant.grr.. mayb 1 day i wil juz explode.. haiz..

im so tired... i hope i can jux slp 4eva n dun wake up to see all tis kind of nonsense.. =_=''

im gettin mre vulgar le.. bt heck la.. its so sian nw.. n i learnt tt being a gd guy is useless.. ppl will jux try to tke advantage..

yes.. alone is gd..

*i don't control ur life, so u beta NOT CONTROL MINE! get it?!

2006-05-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

shuo bu shang wei shen me
wo bian de hen zhu dong
ruo ai shang yi ge ren
shen me dou hui zhi de qu zuo
wo xiang da sheng xuan bu
dui ni yi yi bu she
lian ge bi lin ju dou
cai dao wo xian zai de gan shou

he bian de feng
zai chui zhe tou fa piao dong
qian zhe ni de shou
yi zhen mo ming gan dong
wo xiang dai ni
hui wo de wai po jia
yi qi kan zhe ri luo
yi zhi dao wo men dou shui zhao

wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai
ai neng bu neng gou yong yuan dan chun mei you bei ai
wo
xiang dai ni qi dan che
wo
xiang he ni kan bang qiu
xiang zhe yang mei dan you
chang zhe ge
yi zhi zou

wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai
ai ke bu ke yi jian jian dan dan mei you shang hai
ni
kao zhe wo de jian bangnizai wo xiong kou shui zhao
xiang zhe yang de sheng huo
wo ai ni
ni ai wo

xiang
jian! jian! dan! dan!
ai~
xiangjian! jian! dan! dan!
ai~

-by jay chow jian dan ai

[Translation]"Simple Love"

Unable to say why
I have become very initiative
If I fall in love with a person
Anything is worth going to do
I want to loudly announce
I am reluctant to part with you
Even the next-door neighbour can guess my present feeling
The riverside wind
Is blowing my hair to waft
Holding your hand
A period of unknown emotional moving
I want to take you back to my maternal grandmother’s house
Watching the sunset together
Straight until we are sleeping
I want to be holding your hand like this and not let go
Can love be pure forever without sorrow?
IWant to take you bicycle riding
IWant to watch baseball with you
Want to be like this without worries
Singing songs
Constantly walking
I want to be holding your hand like this and not let go
Can love be simple without hurt?
YouAre leaning on my shoulder
YouAre sleeping on my chest
Like this kind of life
I love youYou love me
WantSimple!Love~WantSimple!Love~

2006-05-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

haiz.. today is weird.. went out bt 4gt to take my wallet.. so in the end havta go home n take it, den go out again.. so 4gtful. lolz. ate gelato today. lol.stil gt other tings tt hapened bt too lazy to write le..

hmm,i saw smth which i shud nt see today.. felt VERY weird n abit disgusted.. haiz.. den nw cant get tt image out of my head le.. dots..

haiz, i knw evry1 gt their needs.. bt sum hw i juz cant get over it.. its looks super wrng.. omg.. feel like getting amnesia IMMEDIATELY RITE NW!!! haiz.. so sianz.. n i stil feel sick.. yucks man.. omg omg omg.. the tings tt i wud nvr n cant imagine happen in my life, happened rite b4 my eyes today.. omg..
$%#%$%&^$%#@#%U&^(&*)%^#@$$#$$%&%^%&#R%............. -.-'''''''''' reali no wrds can describe sia.. n stil mux act nth happened.. eeeewwwww

eeee, tink i wil lose my appetitde for a few days.. lol..

so sick n tired... haiz

2006-05-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

yay.. finally the last day of attachment is over le.. haiz. duno whether to be hapi or sad.. =x
hapi is cuz i finally grad liao.. n i have a long hols in frnt of mi.^^
sad is cuz i wil nt go back to sch animre.. n nw i havta wrk le.. n i will mis my frens.cuz wen we wrk, all will b v v v busy to come out le.. n i wil nt see my new frens so often oso le =( oh well...

lol,den today we made a present for out CI(clinical instructor), lol.. n wen she see it, she like goin to cry liao.n our present is nt like those super fancy kind of ting.. lolz.. bt shes the best CI i eva seen. lolz.=p

reali enjoyed my posting, even tho there are politics ard, bt i tink its normal.. n find it no big deal tho..made lots of new n interestin frens.. reali will miss u all de.. cux its due to them, tt i liked my posting.. hmm, so weird, stil cant believe i grad le.. n im no mre a 'student nurse' nw, im a staff nurse liao. hahahaz....if i eva wana b one.. ><
no mre sch le.. nw waitin to go army.. goin tru another new phrase of my life.. hmm.. wonder wad will hapen.. feelin abit scared abt my future bt oso excited too. lolz. complicated.

hmm,disscussed afew tings today.. among them was "hw do u tink if sum1 treated u well?" some ppl say its money. e.g, if tt person spend lots of money on u tt means tt person is v gd to u.. bt i dun agree leh.. =x cuz even tho tt person may spend thousands of money on u, bt tt person stil makes u unhappy or hurt den its bad liao.. n if tt person who spends money on u, expects u to be gd to him/her, den its another bad person.. tt is a shythead.

man.. a part of me doesn't want tis attachment to end.. hope tt it cud last 4eva.. lol.. i mux b mad =s

mayb i will find wrk to do while waitin for ns... hmm.. any lobangs? any1? lol. if have den leave a comment ba. lol =p

gd bye... i wil mis these moments...

*off to another chapter of my life.....*

2006-05-01T09:54:00.000-07:00

hapi labour day!! ^^ haha. had a nice drm today.. den din wana wake up. lolz. hope tt drm can last foreva.. -.-

din do much today, so sianzz

smth irritating happen today, dam irritated. tt sumbdy keep on banging ourdoor.. grr.. den open le, stil threaten to commit suicide?!?! WTF.
I REALI HATE THOSE PPL WHO KEEP ON SAYIN TT THEY WANA COMIT SUICIDE! ITS SO FUCKING IRRITATING CAN?!?! ALTHO I LOVE U, BT IF U SAY TT, I WIL STIL FUCKIN B V PISSED. U TINK U SO GREAT?!? GET LOST.. RAWR.

ok.tink i will go to hell wen i die for sayin those tings -.-

OH WELL

*i dunwana b sumbdy who can na de qi fang bu xia, i shall b on my own nw le.. best is dun start anything nw. =x alone is always goot.. at least i wun b hurt.... yeah

2006-04-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

yay!! tis wk finally goin to end soon le. counting dwn 5mre days to freedom! hahaha..
this wk there are mre new yr2 students in the ward, n smth funny happened. lolz, there is a guy tt looks like mi frm the back view. lol.n we gt the same height, same hairstyle, almost the same specs.lolz, den they call him my twin liao. hahahaha.. lucky oni the back look like mi.. if frnt oso look like mi den nt funny le. he looks mre rounder. =p
den played lan wif jl n alvin. fun sia.. lolz. i found my new lan gamin frens le ><><"

cant wait for the wkend to come. yay yay yay yay..

soon it wil b over.. i hope. otherwise i wil look dwn on myself for being do pathetic. rawr >=(

2006-04-25T03:29:00.000-07:00

finally finish one day of nite shift le... so boring. lol.. do nth de, den so slpy.. dots. come home den str away slp le. dein in the end oni slp for 6hrs oni.. siao liao.. duno hw to survive tonitez shift liao.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

bye

2006-04-24T04:10:00.000-07:00

=.=... juz woke up.. so weird.. lolz. drm of stupid drms again =x

haiz.. nw havta go work liao.. ppl go home, i go work.. dotz.. haha

i miss u
i miss the feelin u gave mi
no1 will eva b able to give mi tt feelin like u did.......

2006-04-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

rite.. so nw its 5am n im stil nt slpin yet.lolz.. i mux try nt to slp..=.=.. cuz today is my nite shift.. muz slp oni in the day, or else i wil suffer tonite. lolz. went out wif sch fens ytd, so nice! haha.. so long din see all of them le, den they become mre beautiful liao >< hahaha..

went to orchard fo lunch den went party world to sing song..bt i sing til v bad sia.. haha..=.= aft tt, we went to eat steamboat.. den walau.. tt place is full of lizards sia.. its like, we can see5 or 6 lizards together on the same side of the wall.. den all is quite big de =x was abit worried tt it wil drop dwn frm the wall into the soup =x

haiz.. heard frm my frens tt nite shift is v boring de.. =.=.. will rot dwn there sia.. oh well, guess i juz havta play bingo again liaoz. hahaha..

2006-04-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeeee!!!!!!!! hahaha.. today so fun! went kayakin today! lolz. went kayaking for the 1st tym in my life. >< hahaha. met wif ed n charles den go east coast to join xun n family. lolz. was surprised wen we knw tt xun's whole family is goin. lolz. like family outing.. hmm, i din have a family outing for 10 ovr yrs le.. oh well..

hmm, it was fun. lolz. at first i duno hw to steer, den keep on turnin in the direction i dun wan it to. or the kayak will keep on turnin in circles. =x. haha.. bt finally i gt the hang of it. so its nt bad. lol. we kayak for abt one hr.even tho its one hr, i felt tired liao. haha.. den aft returnin the kayaks, ed learn hw to swim abit. haha.. so funny..cuz he WACKED xun's head while his learning free style. hahaha..

den suddenly the sky turn dark n was goin to rain, so we all rushed to the toilet to bathe..bt aft bathing it stil hasn't rained yet.. =.=''.. rushed for nth. den we decided to go n eat. since its overcast, we decided to sit at a place under the shelter de.while we were eatin, it started rainin heavily, n wth?! the sheltr is USELESS, cuz the rain stil pour tru, n my rice become flooded.. =.=... sian 1/2 n my whole body is wet.. lolz.

ok.. so nw i gt cramps at my arms n gt sunburned liao.. haha.. hmm, wonder will i b tanned?? lolz =p

2006-04-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

lol, today is another slacking day for mi. haha.. so fun sia.. oni go there to joke ard wif the ppl n frens.lol. den today we bargained wif the SN for longer brks.lol. we agreed to buy to them bubble tea so tt we can go to east point during wrkin tym. lol. at first oni have to help 2 person to buy, den end up, buying 8 cups. lol. wen we gt back, we have to smuggle in sia. canot let the NM see, otherwise we die le. lol. i bought the oreo coffee de, n it taste weird.. =s

n yes! tml is last day of wrk for tis wk, cux gt gd friday. lol. i hope gd fri can come faster..

so sian of tinkin le!!!!!! hmm, gettin no life lately.

2006-04-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

wahaha.. so nice today!! lol.. reali slacked the whole day at work today sia. haha.. see my frens all so busy till no tym for brk n i still went for 1hr+ for brk is so nice. haha.gettin to like tis ward mre n mre le. haha.. the staff reali v fun to wrk wif. wheeeeeeeeee... >< haha.. too bad my interest is nt in tis dept. if nt i wud join them aft i grad.

*ok.. so i have told u who is tt ger liao.. satisfy ur curiosity? i dun wan to tell u is cuz i guess tt u will b scared of mi.. lol, sounds weird n no sense bt its wad i tink.. haiz.. looks like i din change at all.. i am still so indecisive, so emotional, so idiot, so boring to be wif,n.... wadeva....zzzzz... i hate myself. grr... *

muz change.tis blg is nt meant to be like tis..

2006-04-09T08:40:00.001-07:00

haiz.. been rotting the whole day today.. n feelin so sian.. gues im still affected by ytd.. so sianz. oh well..

*looks like im correct.. i stil cant get over you.. y am i like tt.. y cant i get over you like wad u did.. i shud b ok long ago.. bt nw.. argh.. i tink too much, the person tt u tink of cant be mi.. i knw.. oh well..* tis blg shuden b like tis de.. haiz

2006-04-08T21:23:00.000-07:00

went suntec today wif fren, it was quite fun.. ^^ actually wanted to watch "dorm" bt wen we went there the show has alrdy been removed.. sianz.. so we went to play arcade n walk arnd.. lol. den saw a siao guy who is singin "stand up for singapore" reali loud while walking.. hahaha.. reminds mi of my days wrkin in IMH. den we walk to bugis to eat gelato. ahah.. so nice sia..long tym din eat ice cream le =p

aft tt went esplanade to tke pic.. den we asked a tourist to take pic for us, bt his v noob la.. walau, ask him to move foreward, he go n move backward, teach him hw to zoom in the view, he stil dun zoom in.. =.=" so in the end we gave up n ask another tourist to help us.

aft tt i went to meet my dad.. gd to see him stil active. lol. bt bad habit stil here.. haiz..duno hw to say le.. haiz. bt stil can see tt he is stil dwn, n i din do anyting.. guess im geting to be stone hearted.wen he gt hm, i cud see the pain in his eyes.. n i felt the pain too...oh well..

*the tears tt u drop are for urself, bt wad abt mine? who isit for?*

2006-04-07T20:45:00.000-07:00

hello there
The angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victimOf darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and SallyIf we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have halloween on christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
(I miss you)(I miss you)
Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep
I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick, strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home
And stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, miss you)
Dont waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, miss you)
Dont waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(i miss you, miss you)
Dont waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, miss you)
Dont waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

-blink 182-

2006-04-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

wee~~~ finally fri ended le!!! ahahaha.. so hapi. today can be counted as my best day at work for this past 2 wks!! lol. today was in charge of 1 cubicle. its so hard n tiring, bt fun.lucky i gt 2 gd SN to help n guide mi along. lol.reali felt tt i accomplished smth. bt i still feel tt i still gt a very very long way to go b4 i can fully take charge. so muz jia u! lolz. hmmm, wonder hw are my frens.. so long din contact them le..
today aft work i was invovled in the hospital's fire evacuation simulation. its so fun, hahahahaha.. den wen we are 'running' away frm the hospital we all keep on saying tt the hospital is burning.lol den i imagine if there reali is a fire,i tink all the old man/woman and even those bed bound de patient can run faster den us sia. hahaha. reali cant imagine them running. lol
4mre wks to go!!! woot~!

*am i goin tru an illusion nw? i cant believe in myself anymre...i dunwana tink too much..is tis reali happening?????*

2006-04-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

hmm...today's time like pass v fast.. lol. mayb its cuz its such a busy day.. alot of tings to do sia.. altho nw they say i shud be doin SN stuff le.. bt i feel tt im still doing most of the EN stuff, n i stil duno wad the heck is SN suppose to do.. -.=.. haiz. wonder hw am i goin to pass out like tt sia..

den today kena scoldin by SN oso.. HAIZ.. nw no confidence le.. tot i was doin the rite tings.. bt end up its all wrng.. den become smart aleck.. haiz.. oh well, look on the brightside.. at least i learn smth frm my mistake..

i wonder.. was my past juz an illusion?

2006-04-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

so, finally the comp ended.. ^^ most of my stress is gone le!!! so hapi. lolz
the day was so tiring.. carry alot of chairs n tables.. lol.bt slack alot oso.. today wasted alot of money sia.. cux in the mornin, i tot i will b late so i took a cab.. den end up i was too early =.=.. n most of the ppl was late.. haiz.. wasted $10..
den todays comp so weird... only got a little bit of spectators.lol. den the whole hq so quiet like there is no comp like tt.bt its beta.. lol. cuz like tt, there will b not much interferance to the comp, den evryting ran smoothly
den wen the comp was abt to end, i saw a gay officer.. walau eh.. den he super fussy de.. n no manners, always lookin dwn on ppl.grr.. reali wanted to ask him to shut up..bt cant cuz i was wearin the sj t-shirt.
hmm,the wristbands tt i made was ok.. lol.n im v hapi abt it.^^
haiz... so tired sia.. goin to slp le.. mayb nxt yr i dunwana do again le.. lol.

2006-03-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

ok.. back to today.. finally its thurs liaoz.. this wk like dam slow sia.. i reali dun like prcp.. it sux, n wrst. im going to go tru this for 6 wks!! omg.. hmm, bt it still have a few gd points.. at least the staff there are gd.
oh ya, today gt weird ting happen, lol. my GUM came out!! lol! wth.. nw its dangling in my mouth.. weird feeling. cuz its like a piece of flesh hangin on a rope in the mouth like tt. =_=''
haiz.went to AnE to c doc.. den in the end the doc cant do anything oso,except askin mi to go dentist.. dotz.. waste my $65..
oh well, guess i will c the dentist on sat to remove the gum n my braces(YES!!!) hahaa.. finally its tym to take out my braces!! woot~~

haiz.. finally gt new skin le.. bt it seems to be lagging of smth.. bt i cant find it.. =_=''

~*~*~*revive??* *~*~*~*~

2006-03-30T07:53:00.000-08:00

so sian...
hmm, finally exams are over le.. duno whether to be sad or not. cuz after this exam, its my prcp liaoz, den aft tt i will grad le and will not go back to sch aft mayb 2 or 3 yrs.. haiz.. will miss my sch life.. so fast 3 yrs liaoz.. haiz haiz.. so sian..

hmm, btw tink im gonna fail my exams ba. din reali study.. no mood. lately do alot of tings oso no mood de.. den sian sian.. so dot. grr.. nw tryin to find skins for this blog.. haiz...lazy to type mre le.

Evryting is SIANZ. (23/3/2006)